Excerpt of Caught up Loving a Savage
“Yo, let’s just clap ‘dis nigga right now! Tired of sitting here, my nigga.” Ronnie tugged at the collar of his sweater. “It’s hot as fuck in here. Feel like I’ma bust into flames, son. This ain’t no place for niggas like us.”
“Fuck outta here, B. It’s cold as fuck in here. Niggas sitting up in here with coats on, bro. Heat don’t work.” Lightweight rocked his frail body back and forth to keep warm.
Toot was too busy clapping his hands to the church choir who sang from their souls. I’ll have to give it to them. They did their thing, even in a broke down church with no heat, but this church shit just wasn’t for me.
“Patience, my G. Patience.” I sat calmly with my arms crossed in the back of the crowded church with my eyes fixated on Pastor Percy Williams. People walked to the front and put their hard earned money into the collection plate like it was nothing.
Pastor Williams wiped his sweaty forehead with a napkin as he stood at the podium flossin’ in his expensive suit in front of a massive white Jesus statue.
“Thank you. Thank you my brothas and sistas. The Lawd is good. Amen, amen! Don’t forget the good Lawd has blessed us with a fine Christmas dinner in the cafeteria, so please, grab a plate. Merry Christmas!”
After everyone contributed to the collection plate, they disbursed to the cafeteria like roaches in ‘da hood, leaving me, Ronnie, Lightweight, and Toot alone in the pews. My eyes never left the pastor as he strutted in the opposite direction like he owned the world.
Toot knew what time it was. He scooted to the edge of the torn pew and said a quick prayer while he rubbed his platinum Jesus cross that hung heavily off his neck. Shaking my head at the depiction of a white Jesus, I stood slowly and ambled down the aisle towards Pastor Williams’ office.
He sat at his modern wooden desk filling out paperwork in his plush chair like he was the mutha fuckin’ president. He hummed softly to the Christmas melody playing on the radio he had near the window.
Percy looked up from his glasses. “What can I do for you fellas? The food is down the hall and to the right in the cafeteria.”
My crew made themselves cozy on the expensive leather chairs he had lined up along his wall. His walls were full of more white Jesus’ and pictures of church events, family, and Sunday service. I had nothing to say. Instead, I went straight to the window admiring the snow falling carelessly from the sky. I shut off that damn Christmas music and continued admiring the outside scene. There was at least a foot of snow on the ground and we hadn’t even gotten through half the day, yet.
“Aye, Pastor? How many floors this building got, yo?” I questioned.
He removed his glasses and turned towards me. He was confused. “Sixteen. Why do you ask?”
“Let’s go to the roof. I wanna check out the view.”
Lightweight took the pastor’s purple trench coat from the coat hanger and handed it to him.
“I’m rather busy at the moment. Could you come back another time?”
I stuffed my hands in my dark blue Canada Goose down coat and turned so he could look me in my eyes. “Pastor, this isn’t up for debate.”
He sensed how serious I was and took his coat from Lightweight and lead us to the elevator. He shifted nervously while we waited for the doors to open to take us to the sixteenth floor.
“What’s this about?” He asked precautiously.
None of us said a word.
The elevator slid open. Percy hesitated. He looked at the ground before getting off the elevator that led us to the freezing rooftop. Shivering in the cold, he paused in between the door leading us back inside and the sixteenth floor drop. It was a windy day in New York. Snow blew in all different directions as people struggled to get to where they needed to go for the Christmas holiday. It was just another day to me.
I motioned for the pastor to join us. “Come look at this amazing view, Pastor.”
Percy gave a slow head nod and trampled slowly through the snow. Immediately, Ronnie and Lightweight grabbed the pastor and hung him over the roof, head first.
“Hey! What’s going on here? Help me!” Percy screamed for his life.
I motioned to my crew. “Yo, bring ‘em back up.”
Ronnie and Toot followed my direction. Percy fought to catch his breath through the chilling breeze.
“You owe a lot of money, Pastor. You got two million dollars laying around in that fancy office of yours? It’s time to pay your dues.”
“I knew the devil sent you when you walked into my office! I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Percy shot back angrily.
Toot drew his fist back and the pastor caught a blow to the mouth causing blood to spill into the snow changing it from pure white to bright red.
“Don’t fuck up my Tims. I just got these shits, yo!” I peeked at my oatmeal colored boots. Luckily, they were blood free.
I stepped lightly through the snow stopping in front of him. “Yo, you been spending an awful lot of money. I’ve been watching you drive to your massive mansion in your clean Bentley you just bought. I didn’t know you could afford something like that on a Pastor’s salary.”
“What time is it, Pastor?” I watched as he raised the sleeve of his coat and looked at his Rolex.
“It’s just before two.” His voice was shaky as he stared nervously at the ice on his wrist.
He was as icy as the icicles that hung dangerously from the gutters. “That’s a nice watch. How much one of those cost? About fifty gs?”
“Somewhere around there. Listen, I swear, I’ll have the money next week. Just gimme until next week!”
I chuckled. “Nah. That’s not how this works, Pastor. You been out here in these streets flossin’ and shit. You even got your office looking crispy, yo. You were loaned money to fix up the church, but it look like you doin’ you out here and ain’t tryin’ to pay the shit back. When you get money, you pay it back!” I clapped with every word that came out of my mouth next. I wanted him to get the message. “When. It’s. Due.”
Ronnie and Lightweight grabbed the Pastor’s coat at the shoulders, holding him hostage.
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you!” Pastor Williams fought back with his words that meant nothing to me.
“Yo, throw his ass ova.” I spoke nonchalantly.
“Man, c’mon! It’s Christmas Eve. You sure you wanna throw the pastor off the church building?” Toot argued.
I gave Ronnie and Lightweight the okay to carry out my order. They didn’t hesitate to send Pastor Williams over to the other side.
I verified the job was done and took a picture for confirmation so I could get paid. Percy’s body was lifeless and bent in ten different directions in a pool of blood in a hill of snow. I pulled my freshly rolled blunt out my pocket and lit it calmly.
I inhaled deeply and blew the smoke into the air. “Fuck church. I’m woke, my nigga. Now, who’s hungry?”
“Yo, I don’t give a fuck! Popeye’s got the best chicken.” I was sucking my greasy fingers in our warehouse without a care in the world like I didn’t just send a man of God over his temple to his death. Right before I smashed my chicken and biscuits, I sent confirmation that the task was done to the vicious dude that wanted me to kill another man for not paying up on his due date.
I wasn’t always a savage hitta. My government name is Quan Price and I’m married to the baddest chick in New York. As soon as we fell in love, we got married. We ain’t have much and ain’t know what the fuck we was doing. We lived off our dreams and they were big dreams, yo. We just ain’t have no paper to make shit happen. She was going to college and I was workin’ at the bodega around the corner from our spot. Life hit us hard after a while. We almost lost our crib and our lil’ beater we was ridin’ on just got towed and shit. I was mad coo’ wit’ a lotta dangerous niggas from upstate. I rolled with them a few times when they did lil’ shit for cash, but I ain’t do nothin’. I was just there to kill time. Ever since I told them the deal, they been lookin’ out for ‘da kid ever since. Eventually, when they saw I was down for the count, they put me onto some real hitta shit. Been goin’ at it three years strong and ain’t looked back.
Toot, Lightweight, and Ronnie were packing up kilo after kilo under bags of confectioners sugar to have shipped to our biggest client down in Ohio. We had this game on lock and knew exactly what we needed to do down to a fine hair.
“Man, what? Nah, bro. KFC shit’s go hard, but Popeye’s biscuits, though. A’in’t nobody got shit on them mutha fuckas’!”
We all laughed. “Yeah. You right on them biscuits, G.” I agreed.
Besides Toot laughing about the best biscuits in the world, he hadn’t said a word since the church scene.
“Yo, son. You good?” I asked as I watched Toot’s smile disappear.
“Nah, my nigga. That shits we did back there at the church was fucked up. You coulda popped that nigga somewhere else. We just had to do that shit at the church. Shits fuckin’ wit’ me, yo. You know we wasn’t raised like that, cuz. We went to church every Sunday and here you go like, fuck all that shit we was raised on. And why the fuck you have to do that shit on Christmas Eve?”
I had a mouth full of my third biscuit as I listened to the world’s smallest violin play in the background while Toot whined.
“Nigga, what the fuck I tell you before? All that shit fake. Ain’t no God living up in no mutha fuckin’ clouds. All that shit is within. You the temple. Not these damn churches out here and shit. You see how that nigga was flossin’, but the church was still fucked up. Money. It’s always about the paper.” I tapped my temple with my index finger. “Study yo’ Bible, cuz. Don’t just read it. Take ‘dem words from the Bible and look in the etymology dictionary. You’ll see that shit in a whole new light.”
“You a crazy woke mutha fucka, son. Yo’ third eye a lil’ too open, B. And you sittin’ ova’ there smilin’ and shit wit’ chicken grease all around ya’ shits like you ain’t just murk a nigga a hour ago.”
I took the last bite of my perfectly seasoned chicken thigh and wiped my mouth with a napkin.
“And that’s why y’all call me, Shine, nigga! Fuck outta here. I keeps happy. I don’t give a fuck!” I headed over to the loaded truck to make sure everything was done the right way. We couldn’t afford any fuck ups. Especially in the heart of this winter storm. Regardless, shit needed to be delivered or that was our heads. The cat that was buying all this shit didn’t give a fuck about no snow. All he cared about was his doe.
“Yo, y’all done? Y’all gotta gets on the road and deliver that shits now if y’all gonna make it on time. I don’t need that crazy mutha fucka blowin’ my phone up cuz’ y’all fuckin’ around. Y’all think I’m crazy? Just wait ‘til y’all rub this cat wrong.” I shook my head thinking about past shit I’ve seen him do. He made my shit look like I was a saint.
Ronnie packed away the last of the kilos. “Yeah. We good. We ‘bout to roll out now.”
“Coo’. Don’t forget, no discounts, yo. I don’t give a fuck what that nigga say.” Just then, my phone buzzed. “Yo, hold up. Gotta take this shits.”
“Yo. What’s good?” I walked away from the truck for privacy.
Tanya cried hysterically on the other end. “Oh my god! He’s gone! He’s gone!”
I held my finger up to the crew to tell them to hold on as they loaded up in the truck. “Calm down. Who gone, yo?”
“My father. I just got a call from Sister Mary that he was found dead at the church.” She wept again before she continued. “They think he committed suicide and jumped off the building.”
Concerned, I responded. “Word? That’s fucked up. The fuck he go and do some dumb shit like that for?”
Tanya sniffed on the other end. “I don’t know. This was highly unlike him. He was a happy man of God and didn’t seem depressed or suicidal.”
“Shit’s crazy as fuck. Yo, you at the crib? I’ma be there in a few, a’ight, babe?” I reassured.
“Yeah. I’m here. I’ll see you in a minute, babe. I love you.” The phone grew silent and she hung up.
Just as she hung up, my phone buzzed again. It was a notification from my bank. Five hundred thousand dollars was deposited from the cat that hired me to kill my wife’s father. I grinned at the thought of being a half a million richer and was on to the next.
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